best thing ever:

do you know what's weird?

you don't know my real name.

evvverybody calls me Callie. everyone i know.

but on my birth certificate? on my passport?

what my mom calls me, and what it says on Official Documents?


I'm Calista.

The icy sweetness of

your lips on mine
sets my eyes on fire with
hot, urgent longing.
Beams of light,
connecting our minds like
glistening strands of silk
dazzle me--
all I can see.
Halting my heart,
bleaching my brain...
The moonlight symphony
of your fingers around mine
lulls me into blinding blackness,
leads me into dreams of
churning water, light refracted
by the aqua drops,
dancing on a backdrop of
emerald galaxies.
The music and magic
that is your voice
lilts in my ears--
you're an invisible constant.
An echo of emotion,
a lullaby of loneliness.
Empty memories of your touch,
flutter at my shining lashes,
turning my tears to honey,
my cheeks to lilies,
my eyes to starlight.
I miss you,
I Love You.

Guess who

got in to Interlochen?

You look at me

like every word that floats--
a wispy, lavender cloud--
from my mouth is dripping
with ice and gold.
Like you can see the insanity
in the colors and songs that fill my head
with chaos that even I can't make sense of.
You look at me like that chaos--
that whirling, aimless chaos--
is the most beautiful thing you have ever
imagined.
You look at me like every thought I think,
every song I hum,
every look I give,
is perfection,
sparkling like lost sunlight among thousands
of ice diamonds.
You look at me
like my name is Love.

loveLovelove

click on it. it's better when you click on it.

When I see the worlds of wonder,

huge and spinning in the
blue-green brilliance of you eyes,
I want to fly through candy clouds
on wings of disbelief.
Fly until the universes of
infinite light
are so small I can
hold them in my palm,
a puddle of beauty,
luminescent and whirling,
glowing liquid pearl.
I'll fly those universes back
and place them before you,
watch you listen and see and gasp
at the crystalline complexity.
I'll watch you as
your eyes lose focus
and your smile blinds me.
I'll watch,
the tears shining on my face--
an echo of yours--
as you fall in Love with everything.

You're made of mirrors.

Reflecting the light

that shines through my lips,

and the diamond pools melted

in my eyes.

Reflecting the beauty that I

can't understand,

the cruelty that I

can't forget.

You are a mirror of

hope and anger,

a mirror of jagged edges,

a mirror of butterfly wings.

You are a mirror

of bizarre perfection,

broken song and broken smiles,

reflecting the unscathed insanity and

cracked clarity.

You are a mirror of suffering and bliss,

a mirror of music,

reflection of ecstacy.

Elegant and obvious,

full of incredible emptiness.

You are a mirror of lemon sun,

crystal tears,

desperate laughter.

Glorious misinterpretations.

You are the immensity of Love,

you are the hatred of hate.

We are made of mirrors,

seeing me,

showing you.

Uniform amongst infinite reflections.

When I was cracked and breaking, I though of what you would do if you saw me like that.

I thought of the sunlight palaces you would build with your words, so I could hide behind the shining walls and be warm and royal. I thought of the lilac tears you would cry, I felt them kissing my forehead like rubies. I thought of your whispered reassurances, holding me like ancient gossamer, a web of broken love and perfect lies. I thought of how you would rest my head on your shoulder, how we would sway and float like gravity didn't exist for us--rising through sky-blue smoke and wisps of lost, electric song. I thought of how you would kiss my eyelids closed, moonlight moths against my salty skin. I thought of how you would take me to a place where the grass was sweet and pale, and you could smell the seasons as they mingled with the light filtering throught the ceiling of leaves. I thought of golden palm fronds skimming my skin and I thought of never being afraid. I thought of holding your hand tight in mine and flying above the clouds, gazing at the cities exploding with light and passion, and the fields and forests laced with sleep and lazy romance. I thought of sprinting along the sea with you, laughing in the frothing waves. I thought of hot sand and cold snow, I thought of the brilliance and beauty in being alive. I thought of how you'd remind me with every look you'd give and every word you'd speak of the miracle of Loving without being In Love, the miracle of words and light and living. I though of music and I thought of tears, and I thought of how you and I are infinity. I thought of how you're my light in my tunnel of heartbreak, how you'd take my chin in your hand and turn my face toward beauty. I thought of the invisible aurora of love and pain that dances in your eyes. I thought of the ecstacy in loving you and not caring if you loved me back. The miracle of Loving without being In Love. I thought of words, of light, of music. I thought of the brilliance in living.

You are a light explosion

beyond the starry horizon,

violet and violent,

illuminating the translucency

of so many empty words.

Reflected in the swimming eyes

of who we all

used to be.

Spin me around

under the night-time skies,

until the world twirls

and blends,

becoming the brightest black.

A bouquet of madness,

a collection of color.

Stay with me,

stay with me,

at least until the morning.

The scarlet sunrise settling

into the hollows of your cheeks,

the fading comets,

tracing fire trails

through your lonely eyes.

Take me by the hand

and dance with me

along paths of silver.

Sublime sparkling souls.

Light explosions,

beyond the starry horizon.

I'll find you by the light

of these midnight-cities,

by following the flurry of sweet song

that you leave in your wake.

Your voice will murmur in my sleep,

so that i may find you

and hide, once again,

behind the waterfalls of change that

pound in your head.

I'll be your dusty sunlight,

i'll be your Ice Queen,

i'll be your Love Revolution.

I'll find you.

Your diamond glitter words

floating on the winds of

sweet, unspoken melodies--

hummed by my heart

and sung by someone

who pretends to care.

The words that light the clouds from

beneath them,

the words that turn

into copper and glass

before they ever

reach your lips.

The words that float over me

like sugar.

Spin me your sugar-sun words,

sing them softly in my ear,

your ice lips against

my burning skin.

Whisper your ocean wave words

so they crash into

my echoing mind,

bouncing between

the icicles of

repeated forevers.

your eyes used to be

silver water,

cold glass,

blinding light,

and now they are nothing

but smoke smothered stars. 

frosty explosion

of empty blue light,

invisible razors

cutting into

our Love Revolution

that used to light the clouds

gold and crimson,

peach and copper,

rose and starlight-white...

i want to cover your fingers with

red rose rings,

and i want to sprinkle silver shine

over your closed eyes.

i'll coat your mind in vibrant sleep,

and fill your soul with all the love

you've ever deserved.

i want you to believe the pretty words

that i sing to myself

when i miss you.

i'll be your

Love Revolution.

the Me that is

ice and gold,

love and music,

petals and spun sugar,

exists only

in your eyes.

that fragil web

of your copper love

is too perfect to be

trembling at my lips,

gone

if i dare to exhale,

invisible in moonshine-white

Forever.

i will cling to your 

frost-laced voice,

your stormcloud memory.

i will cling to the

cold flame,

love melody,

sweet flowers...

i will drown in who i was

with you.